Opening Sentences That Close the Sale

by Karon Thackston © 2006 http://www.marketingwords.com

It’s one of the best pieces of copywriting advice I’ve ever been given. “As often as possible, start your paragraphs with sentences that hook readers and drive them deeper into the copy.” Why? Because - after the headline - the first sentence in any paragraph is what gets read most often. After that point, customers usually skip to the next section unless they feel compelled to keep reading. That means your job, as the copywriter, is to entice them into each segment, so they will consume as much of your copy as possible.

Take your cue from Reader’s Digest. They crank out - issue after issue - exceptional opening lines for their articles that engage then hook readers. What happens next? The reader is pulled into the story full force. Here are some examples.

It was a horrific display of irreverence.

By the way she dressed, you would have never guessed she was only 14.

As he reached into the box, something inside it moved.

See? Those sentences boost your curiosity. They make you wonder what happens next. They cause you to visualize a scene that might be taking place. You can do the same thing from a marketing perspective when you write your copy.

For instance, rather than starting the copy for an email to Australian hotels like this:

You may be aware of www._______.com – we are an Australian-owned and managed online hotel booking service.

Really capture their attention with an opening sentence that is specific to them like this:

Now you have the opportunity to affordably position your hotel in front of approximately 6,000 travellers every day that are looking for accommodations exclusively in Australia.

For an Australian hotel that depends on the Internet to generate reservations, that sentence gives them many reasons to keep reading.

Here are some other before-and-after examples of opening sentences.

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BEFORE: Hello and welcome to our website. If you are looking for [enter product name here], you are at the right site. (In this case, the example is from a wedding photographer’s site.)

AFTER: We don’t take pictures. We capture precious memories that you can enjoy for a lifetime.

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BEFORE: Our site has been online since 2000, and this marks our 6th year online providing designer-inspired sunglasses.

AFTER: How do you get the latest designer-inspired looks without paying outrageous prices?

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BEFORE: Our cruise website offers unbeatable rates and a diverse array of travel services guaranteed to satisfy even the most discriminating vacationer.

AFTER: Just imagine yourself on the white sand beaches of Honolulu, hiking through the balmy rainforests of Belize or whisking down a powdery, snow-covered mountain in Aspen… all at up to 50% off!

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BEFORE: Thank you for shopping for your corporate gifts at _________.com. We hope your shopping experience is delightful.

AFTER: When you truly impress your clients with distinctive corporate gifts, they remember you longer, feel a closer relationship and are more likely to reward you with increased sales.

See the difference? The “before” sentences are dull, average and unflattering. The “after” sentences are intriguing, imaginative and enticing.

Don’t stop after you create inviting headlines. Keep the momentum going by writing intriguing opening sentences, too. When you do, you’ll help convert more site visitors into paying customers.

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How Web 2.0 And Social Bookmarking Can Work For You

Web 2.0 should be at the center of every business owners plan to survive in the Internet world. It is the latest rage sporting the covers of several magazines as well as the biggest topic on the web. It is speculated to be the resurgence of the dot com boom. For the next five weeks, we will look at Web 2.0, specifically social bookmarking, wikis, blogs, Squidoo and Video, and how they affect business owners.

So What Is Web 2.0?

There is still controversy surrounding what exactly the term Web 2.0 entails. Some view it as a marketing buzzword while others view it as the new wisdom of the Internet. For the purpose of this newsletter we are looking at Web 2.0 as the new conventional wisdom of the Internet. Web 2.0 is defined as websites that build on community or offer a service. Rather than offering simply static information, Web 2.0 allows for interactive viewing of the net. There are several sites that have already mastered the Web 2.0 phenomenon such as Flickr, MySpace, Squidoo, YouTube and the social bookmarking site del.icio.us.

The function of these sites is to use community to maintain content. Tim O’Reilly, founder of O’Reilly Media, says, “The central idea is harnessing collective intelligence.” Every one of these sites has no content on its own. They all rely on users to fill them with content. It comes down to the art of creating community. The notion is that if you get enough people in a room together, or in this case on the same site, the content created can be more knowledgeable than even the most seasoned journalists could provide.

With Web 2.0 Comes An Attitude Or Culture

Web 2.0 has completely revolutionized the Internet industry by making it a giant community. Everything is live and instant. It has taken down the barriers of the old thinking that only professionals can run a website. Now anyone can do it, and they can do it cheaply while adding money to their bank accounts.

How Does Social Bookmarking Fit Into Web 2.0?

Social bookmarking is the practice of saving bookmarks to a public website and tagging them with keywords. To create a collection of social bookmarks, you register with a social bookmarking site, which lets you store bookmarks, add tags of your choice, and designate individual bookmarks as public or private.

How Can Your Business Benefit From Social Bookmarking?

First social bookmarking sites allow you to get to your bookmarks from anywhere there is a computer. So if you are out of town on business, you still have access to your bookmarks without the added headaches of extra research. Second, it allows you to share your site with others, whether they are potential customers, friends, employees, etc. Other people can view your site for reference, entertainment, collaboration, etc. Third, it allows you to access the links that everyone wants to remember. You can see whether two people have chosen to remember a link, or whether it was useful enough for a thousand people to remember — which may help you find things that are useful for you, too. Finally, it is one more way for you to market your site by registering yourself and adding your site as your bookmark.

Next week we will look into Wikis; what they are, how they work and how they can benefit businesses.

Elixir Systems is a full service search engine marketing company specializing in organic search engine optimization services, online public relations management and paid search or PPC management. For more information visit Elixir Systems

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Will Longer Keyphrases Hinder the Effectiveness of Your Copy?

by Karon Thackston © 2005 http://www.marketingwords.com

The length of search phrases continues to grow. Back when the Internet was just an upstart, single keywords were the only thing you needed. But in recent years we’ve seen the number of words used in search phrases triple and quadruple. Rather than a single keyword, searchers who live in countries where English is the primary language are now using three- and four-word phrases as a standard, according to Web analytics company, OneStat.com.

While the worldwide average is two words per search phrase, the USA, Canada, the United Kingdom and Australia all show that searchers prefer the use of three- or four-word terms. What does this mean from a copywriting standpoint? Writing with a single keyword in mind is relatively easy. Using two-word terms is a bit more of a challenge. But when you get to three- and four-word phrases, your risk of sounding stiff and awkward increases substantially.

Why Longer Phrases?

Longer search phrases are the natural progression of the Internet population boom. As more and more information is placed online, it becomes increasingly difficult to find exactly what you’re looking for. When there were only a few thousand sites, entering the word “marketing” into a search engine would bring up a handful of sites for you to choose from.

Now, however, you find hundreds of thousands of sites dealing with everything from marketing plans to marketing jobs to university curriculums for marketing degrees. The natural action for copywriters is to follow the search trend of the target audience and use the keyphrases that they use.

That leads us back to our original question… how?

Tips for Writing With Keyphrases

The biggest mistake I find search engine optimization (SEO) copywriters making is attempting to substitute a generic term for a specific keyphrase. For example:

At our Mexico cruise vacation site we offer the best rates on Mexico cruise vacation packages to the most exciting Mexico cruise vacation destinations. Visit our Mexico cruise vacation specials page for deep discounts today!

Or

Welcome to our Chicago web design firm site. If you’re looking for innovative and creative Chicago web design firm, you’ve come to the right place. No other Chicago web design firm has the talent or technological skills to develop the type of high-end sites we do. When you’re ready for a truly professional Chicago web design firm, contact us today.

Oh please! My 10-year-old nephew could write better copy than that. When you substitute generic terms (in this case: site, packages, vacation destinations, vacation specials, etc.) with the specific search phrase, you get a bunch of repetitive, awkward babble. The longer the keyphrases are, the more clunky the copy will sound.

The best advice I can give is to break up some of the mentions of longer keyphrases. Yes, you do need to keep the words of the phrase in the same order most of the time. However by using punctuation and other elements you can still make the phrase appear less obtrusive.

For example, let’s look at our Mexico cruise vacation site again. Rather than using that bunch of fluff written above, try this instead:

Long stretches of sunny beaches, delightful fiestas filled with lively bands and some of the most delicious fresh seafood you’ve ever tasted. Where can you find it? In Mexico! Cruise vacation destinations from Cancun to Cozumel offer some of the most exciting adventures and beautiful scenery found in Mexico.

Cruise vacation specials make these remarkable getaways even more affordable than you might think - etc., etc.

Do you see what was done? Using punctuation, the phrase “Mexico cruise vacation” was broken up between sentences. Because the search engines all but ignore punctuation, they see the phrase as one term. However, the site visitor doesn’t. They don’t notice that the phrase is being repeated because it spans two sentences.

If the trend continues as it has in the past, search phrases will get even longer in the not-so-distant future. However, when you get creative with keyphrase use in your copy, you’ll find longer search terms are not a problem to work with. The length of search phrases continues to grow. Back when the Internet was just an upstart, single keywords were the only thing you needed. But in recent years we’ve seen the number of words used in search phrases triple and quadruple.

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